Feelings Are Not Facts

Financial Advisor, Wealth Management,
Posted by Matthew Grishman
· 24 July, 2022

When I was drinking alcohol, my life kept getting emptier. I exhausted myself trying to keep new things out of my life. I was scared and tired. I saw feelings as bad. So, I would drink instead of feeling them.

You see, alcohol was never my problem (nor was my impulse spending). They were both my solutions. My problem was my thinking. And that Thinking did not like my feelings.

Six years ago I added alcohol to my “Say No More” list. I declared to myself and the universe “NO MORE ALCOHOL”. It took another 6 months to find my how-to-say-no to alcohol. The key was finding a healthier path that would allow me to be ok feeling my feelings, rather than pushing them away with a few drinks (or an impulse purchase).

As a result, I now can live fully every day. I no longer want to block my feelings. I’m no longer afraid to open up to new things and people.

And the more I open up, the happier I am. My feelings are free. They bounce around. They don’t get stuck. I feel alive. Sure, I feel pain and fear sometimes. I’ve felt both as recently as today. But I feel joy, love, and laughter too. And, more and more often, I feel alive.

I’ve learned a thing or two about these sometimes-messy little things called feeling. For one, they’re temporary. They come. They go. Especially the strong ones like worry, fear, anger, and exhilaration. The other thing I learned is that feelings aren’t facts. But when my head hijacks my feelings and turns them into thoughts, they sure seem believable, especially when it feels like my entire world is coming apart. But then I quickly remember that this too shall pass, and that my feelings aren’t facts.

This doesn’t happen overnight. It’s required great patience and a willingness to practice new behaviors that do not come naturally to me.

I’m grateful to be on this journey with you in all aspects of our lives. Physical sobriety – emotional sobriety – Financial Sobriety.

book cover of financial sobriety
Financial Sobriety: Rebuilding Your Relationship With Money One Step at a Time

Have you ever had challenges in your relationship with money? Have those challenges affected your relationship with the people in your life? Have those challenges affected how you feel about yourself?